updating this is becoming a bit of a hassle. Im not sure yet if i will continue updating, especially because i have been keeping a written journal sense like February. I might still use this occasionally though. I'll probably post pictures from New Orleans here in the next week or so. If anyone would like to continue stalking me they can go to my tumblr.
http://peacefroggg.tumblr.com/
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Yayyyy its about time my grades start sucking.
Havn't blogged in a while....
My grades suck now, and you know what? Thats fine. Fuck it.
Im failing science, because i was fucking sick and i cant make up all the fucking work right away. Well i could but im not dedicating my life to it. Im not even going to pretend to be like any of those little overachievers anymore, because even if i wanted to i couldn't keep up with them, so why should i pretend? I dont go to lunch anymore, i go to one of the art rooms, and its so much better, i dont have to listen to the same conversations about how hard physics is or how they are going to take 5 ap classes next year over and over again. One chick was complaining about being in honors history, instead of AP. Because shes taking AP math, science, English, and whatever fucking language she's in. Apparently thats not good enough. So by those standards im equivalent to a house fly with no legs that lives on a piece of dog shit. So i decided that hanging out with these kids next year will make me crazy, so i decided to find a new group of friends, its going pretty well, because i found people who are smart but not assholes about it.
And you know what the sad thing is? Some people think our school is ghetto, because its not ALL rich white kids of CEOs, only about half. And the other towns in the area are about 80-98% rich white kids of CEOs. Those people in those towns are fucking crazy. Like everyone is like that individual mentioned above with "only" 4 ap classes. Plus these kids use drugs like they are free samples of chocolates or something, because they have so much freakin money. These are the kinds of kids who have partys in their basements where everyone is on ecstasy and end up getting/giving a blow job, and their parents are upstairs and know whats going on and are just like "ohhhhh you crazy kids!" But anyways....
Also, i'm in this group at school for depressed kids, and one was talking about how hard her life is, and it actually is a situation that is difficult, it wasnt just like "oh i lost my phone" but your supposed to like give support to peers and this other girl was like "oh well thats real life, your gonna have bosses worse then your teachers and you cant just ditch work cuz you gotta make money. No ones gonna take care of you in the real world." I dont know if its just me but i dont think that is very helpful. I was like "yeah but you have more control when your an adult" and the chick is like "hell no you have less". I mean she's probably right in most cases, but in some of these particular cases its not really true.
Lots of shit, so i will summarize it.
New musical obsession=The Doors
New favorite class=This art history combo class im taking this semester
Site im currently addicted to= www.polyvore.com (totally stupid i know)
Shows i started watching (yes, just what i need, more tv)= Skins, Freaks and Geeks, My so called life.
Recently made goal=Befriend the so called "burnouts" because they are not up their own asses like almost everyone else at my school, and they seem funny. Plus some of them dont even do drugs, they just hang out with people you do. (yes kids, those dare commercials you saw are PRETEND! you can be friends with someone who makes different choices then you and you are capable of respecting one and others choices!)
Things i forgot i liked and remembered i liked again=The sound of birds chirping, Hippie dresses, yogurt covered raisins, incense, people with personalitys.
yup...
My grades suck now, and you know what? Thats fine. Fuck it.
Im failing science, because i was fucking sick and i cant make up all the fucking work right away. Well i could but im not dedicating my life to it. Im not even going to pretend to be like any of those little overachievers anymore, because even if i wanted to i couldn't keep up with them, so why should i pretend? I dont go to lunch anymore, i go to one of the art rooms, and its so much better, i dont have to listen to the same conversations about how hard physics is or how they are going to take 5 ap classes next year over and over again. One chick was complaining about being in honors history, instead of AP. Because shes taking AP math, science, English, and whatever fucking language she's in. Apparently thats not good enough. So by those standards im equivalent to a house fly with no legs that lives on a piece of dog shit. So i decided that hanging out with these kids next year will make me crazy, so i decided to find a new group of friends, its going pretty well, because i found people who are smart but not assholes about it.
And you know what the sad thing is? Some people think our school is ghetto, because its not ALL rich white kids of CEOs, only about half. And the other towns in the area are about 80-98% rich white kids of CEOs. Those people in those towns are fucking crazy. Like everyone is like that individual mentioned above with "only" 4 ap classes. Plus these kids use drugs like they are free samples of chocolates or something, because they have so much freakin money. These are the kinds of kids who have partys in their basements where everyone is on ecstasy and end up getting/giving a blow job, and their parents are upstairs and know whats going on and are just like "ohhhhh you crazy kids!" But anyways....
Also, i'm in this group at school for depressed kids, and one was talking about how hard her life is, and it actually is a situation that is difficult, it wasnt just like "oh i lost my phone" but your supposed to like give support to peers and this other girl was like "oh well thats real life, your gonna have bosses worse then your teachers and you cant just ditch work cuz you gotta make money. No ones gonna take care of you in the real world." I dont know if its just me but i dont think that is very helpful. I was like "yeah but you have more control when your an adult" and the chick is like "hell no you have less". I mean she's probably right in most cases, but in some of these particular cases its not really true.
Lots of shit, so i will summarize it.
New musical obsession=The Doors
New favorite class=This art history combo class im taking this semester
Site im currently addicted to= www.polyvore.com (totally stupid i know)
Shows i started watching (yes, just what i need, more tv)= Skins, Freaks and Geeks, My so called life.
Recently made goal=Befriend the so called "burnouts" because they are not up their own asses like almost everyone else at my school, and they seem funny. Plus some of them dont even do drugs, they just hang out with people you do. (yes kids, those dare commercials you saw are PRETEND! you can be friends with someone who makes different choices then you and you are capable of respecting one and others choices!)
Things i forgot i liked and remembered i liked again=The sound of birds chirping, Hippie dresses, yogurt covered raisins, incense, people with personalitys.
yup...
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
FML
I decided the pilgrims aren't worthy of my time, so i wont tell you guys about how they were assholes, because hardly anyone reads this and i need to get stuff out.
The holidays were good, i dont know why people always complain about them being stressful, i imagine most of those people dont go to school, use birth control or have jobs if thats the most stressful thing they can think of. You just buy shit for people and eat.
But now its January which is the shittiest month next to september, maybe worse in fact. Even though the announcement of the Soundgarden reunion made it less horrible this is still the time of year i get angry and bored of life.
I have lost my motivation in school. I have 4 Bs, 2 B-s and 1 A. Now that sounds good but the thing is the classes im getting the lower grades in are all fucking easy and i should be getting As. I hate those people who get pissed about getting a B and so im actually really confused right now, because now im kind of one of those people, but im also kind of not because those people are all honors, future AP, ivy league aspiring kids. I have a B in math, that is a problem because they put me in a fucking slow math class. Even though thats probably the highest grade in the class that pisses me off because it should be easy for me, because the class is fucking slow. But im just not doing it right. Then Science is easy, i should have taken honors, the only reason i didn't was because i thought this year would be hard and i didnt want to do the internship. English WAS easy because my teacher actually dosnt want us to become suicidal (until today at least) but of course the other person working on the project had to get sick and i have no fucking time left because we spent the last 2 weeks of english doing latin hw. Latin is fucked up because i am unorganized with it and lose everything. And health, health isn't even a real class so that means i should get an A, but i have a B. I guess i got a D on my anti drug project, i have not been explained on why but i am assuming it contained too many facts and not enough scare tactics and propaganda. I worked so fucking hard on that project to, over break actually. I was up til like 2 am the day before it was due and i actually put effort into it. I have had one project this year where my effort had actually payed off, i would have had 2 if english wasnt so fucked up. See the problem is that i need higher grades then most people with my train of thought think they need because of a few reasons.
1. I dont like most people here so i dont do much after school, that apparently pisses colleges off.
2. Peer pressure, fuck! people think peer pressure is all about drugs and shit. At this place i'd much rather have friends who are OCD about smoking weed then school. Its not direct, they are not like "wtf you are not in all honors what is wrong with you?" but its just like "oh i got reccomended for all AP, what about you guys? you didn't oh why not?"
3. I feel out of place is normal/slow level classes, im one of the only white kids normally. Im sorry if thats racist but its true, something about the culture here has white people all up their asses and snobby here. They are like OCD here. Now obviously i have nothing against non white people, its actually nice to be the only white kid sometimes because i think its cool being exposed to diversity, esspecially coming from a private school thats like 95% white/Asian. I just feel awkward. Also the people in regular/slow mostly dont care about school, probably because they are fucking kids who want to hang out with friends and have fun stuff like normal, functioning 15 year olds are supposed to.
Even though some of my friends arn't like all A students they are still taking like 4 AP classes because they are really fucking smart. I cant do that, i cant just go home and start hw and finish it even if it takes me 5 hours, i could last year but not any more. I dont know what the hell is wrong with me, i mean i know im just not school smart but its just like how can everyone else be so motivated and school smart and perfect? I went to a private middle school aren't i supposed to be in all honors like everyone else from the school was? Why cant i figure that shit out? I get pissed off at my friends because i actually wish i could be like them and think they are smarter then me. Im not actually that pissed at them im just pissed at myself. I am so confused and i hate this school. I tried hanging out with not honors kids last year but they kind of just wanted to copy my HW. I mean i let them because thats how society in our school is, even though your not allowed to its like something everyone does and its rude not to. I just hate listening to people talk about how they got recommended for all AP when i'm probably not gonna even take a fucking AP class next year.
Oh and to make things worse my spontaneous increasing interest in boys is killing me because im to insecure for dating, half of the boys in my grade havn't even finished fucking puberty and most of the ones who have are taken. Also most guys like stupid girls with weak personality's and no opinions and im sorry but not everyone can look like fucking megan fox belive me if i could i'd love to because then i'd have shit handed to me and i wouldn't have to worry about any of this shit. Although i'd obviously feel guilty for exploiting and others myself buts thats pretty much what society is all about.
Also my teacher decided to call my mom and now she wont even leave me alone because of this english project thing.
Ok now thats out, good.
The holidays were good, i dont know why people always complain about them being stressful, i imagine most of those people dont go to school, use birth control or have jobs if thats the most stressful thing they can think of. You just buy shit for people and eat.
But now its January which is the shittiest month next to september, maybe worse in fact. Even though the announcement of the Soundgarden reunion made it less horrible this is still the time of year i get angry and bored of life.
I have lost my motivation in school. I have 4 Bs, 2 B-s and 1 A. Now that sounds good but the thing is the classes im getting the lower grades in are all fucking easy and i should be getting As. I hate those people who get pissed about getting a B and so im actually really confused right now, because now im kind of one of those people, but im also kind of not because those people are all honors, future AP, ivy league aspiring kids. I have a B in math, that is a problem because they put me in a fucking slow math class. Even though thats probably the highest grade in the class that pisses me off because it should be easy for me, because the class is fucking slow. But im just not doing it right. Then Science is easy, i should have taken honors, the only reason i didn't was because i thought this year would be hard and i didnt want to do the internship. English WAS easy because my teacher actually dosnt want us to become suicidal (until today at least) but of course the other person working on the project had to get sick and i have no fucking time left because we spent the last 2 weeks of english doing latin hw. Latin is fucked up because i am unorganized with it and lose everything. And health, health isn't even a real class so that means i should get an A, but i have a B. I guess i got a D on my anti drug project, i have not been explained on why but i am assuming it contained too many facts and not enough scare tactics and propaganda. I worked so fucking hard on that project to, over break actually. I was up til like 2 am the day before it was due and i actually put effort into it. I have had one project this year where my effort had actually payed off, i would have had 2 if english wasnt so fucked up. See the problem is that i need higher grades then most people with my train of thought think they need because of a few reasons.
1. I dont like most people here so i dont do much after school, that apparently pisses colleges off.
2. Peer pressure, fuck! people think peer pressure is all about drugs and shit. At this place i'd much rather have friends who are OCD about smoking weed then school. Its not direct, they are not like "wtf you are not in all honors what is wrong with you?" but its just like "oh i got reccomended for all AP, what about you guys? you didn't oh why not?"
3. I feel out of place is normal/slow level classes, im one of the only white kids normally. Im sorry if thats racist but its true, something about the culture here has white people all up their asses and snobby here. They are like OCD here. Now obviously i have nothing against non white people, its actually nice to be the only white kid sometimes because i think its cool being exposed to diversity, esspecially coming from a private school thats like 95% white/Asian. I just feel awkward. Also the people in regular/slow mostly dont care about school, probably because they are fucking kids who want to hang out with friends and have fun stuff like normal, functioning 15 year olds are supposed to.
Even though some of my friends arn't like all A students they are still taking like 4 AP classes because they are really fucking smart. I cant do that, i cant just go home and start hw and finish it even if it takes me 5 hours, i could last year but not any more. I dont know what the hell is wrong with me, i mean i know im just not school smart but its just like how can everyone else be so motivated and school smart and perfect? I went to a private middle school aren't i supposed to be in all honors like everyone else from the school was? Why cant i figure that shit out? I get pissed off at my friends because i actually wish i could be like them and think they are smarter then me. Im not actually that pissed at them im just pissed at myself. I am so confused and i hate this school. I tried hanging out with not honors kids last year but they kind of just wanted to copy my HW. I mean i let them because thats how society in our school is, even though your not allowed to its like something everyone does and its rude not to. I just hate listening to people talk about how they got recommended for all AP when i'm probably not gonna even take a fucking AP class next year.
Oh and to make things worse my spontaneous increasing interest in boys is killing me because im to insecure for dating, half of the boys in my grade havn't even finished fucking puberty and most of the ones who have are taken. Also most guys like stupid girls with weak personality's and no opinions and im sorry but not everyone can look like fucking megan fox belive me if i could i'd love to because then i'd have shit handed to me and i wouldn't have to worry about any of this shit. Although i'd obviously feel guilty for exploiting and others myself buts thats pretty much what society is all about.
Also my teacher decided to call my mom and now she wont even leave me alone because of this english project thing.
Ok now thats out, good.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
